Based on her memoir, the younger version of Fisher is painfully, miserably obsessed with Ford. She repeatedly spins elaborate fantasies about him leaving his wife to be with her. She blames herself for his remoteness and tries to figure out what about herself she can change to make him more engaged.
At the beginning, Fisher teases the fact that she’s writing her latest memoir because she found the diaries she kept during the production of “Star Wars.”
But those diaries have nothing to do with the shoot. There are no stories from the set, no insights into working with George Lucas, no reminiscing about the rest of the cast.
The diaries are exclusively 19-year-old Fisher writing about Ford’s remoteness and her angst over him. She frequently drops into poetry where the naked hurt drips off the page.
It is possible that as an adult, Fisher became more comfortable with the Ford affair than she seems on the page. In her final interviews, she jokes about it in an irreverent and relaxed way.
The things she was saying on her book tour suggest there’s another side to the memoir’s part of the story where she grows past hopeless infatuation, and enjoys life on the other side. But the book leaves that story untold, and her death leaves it incomplete.